she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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