I have demons in me.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize