She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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