the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
