Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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