True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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