I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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