its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Did you just see the Batmobile???
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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