I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize