Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
