I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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