Pappa wants mamma naked
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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