On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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