I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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