Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
