I think I am morally bankrupt
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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