So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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