They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
