I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
