So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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