Are we in a gay sports bar?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
