I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
