Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize