you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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