i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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