I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize