I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
