I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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