PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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