You're my little dorito
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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