That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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