Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
