if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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