Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
