You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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