For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
