I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
