shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
