they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize