Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
