Non-Jews are for practice
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
