pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I touched a dick in church today
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
