I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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