I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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