so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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