Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
