He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
