My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
