I'm lost and stupid without you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
