Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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