Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
