Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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