That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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