youre lurking in front of me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
