I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the day after is always just damage control
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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