And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
