I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How does it feel to date your dad?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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