I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
