why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Randomize
