so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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