help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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